Ten days in Ireland which shook the world

A contemporary Fantasy Tale

I used to say that politics was the second-oldest profession. I have come to know that it bears a gross similarity to the first.  Ronald Reagan

Domestic policy can only defeat us; foreign policy can kill us.  John F. Kennedy

If I had to choose between government without newspapers, and newspapers without government,  I wouldn’t hesitate to choose the latter.

Thomas Jefferson

First day

10am Washington

At the usual meeting of the Cabinet of Ministers of the USA Barak Obama spoke to the Minister for Statistics.

“Well, Minister, what is new in our country?”

“Mister President, I should let you know that according to our current reports the mood of the people is such: Our President was not able to fulfill his promise to disentangle himself from the “Washington politics” and become “a President for all Americans.”

“That is clear. In your office, it is possible to take stock going back thirty years, make a list of all the names of the presidents and consider that your salary has been earned. Public opinion is formed by television and let’s focus on that. All the television channels should follow the strategy of presenting our enemies as extremists.”

“Mister President, we are working in that direction. I should be allowed to point out that according to our investigations, only Republicans watch the news, and I am convinced that the USA is going down the right path. There are no optimists, only extremists around the place.”

“Fine, to be more exact there is no good news. What about the economy?”

“Mister President,” replied the advisor for Economic Affairs Jason Furman “Our economic stimulus plan has devastated the state budget to the tune of two trillion dollars, but today there are neither fiscal possibilities nor state currency reserves for further anti-crisis infusion measures.”

“Mister Furman, you can teach as much as you like in Columbia University and play to student brainstorming, which you promised me. Today, I am interested in who is to blame for the unemployment figures, for the failure to reform the public health system and for our general economic collapse?”

“Practically speaking, I have an answer, but it’s difficult. Our main enemy is Europe. The strengthening of the European economy is the answer. Europe is appearing to be more stable in the eyes of the investors, which calls for investment in the euro. I would dare to say that is not that everything is bad in America, but that, simply, in Europe it has got better.”

“So, I understand that the Pentagon should now occupy themselves with economic questions and not economic advisers and the Federal Reserve Fund!”

“I have an idea, Mister President,” answered the Director of the CIA John O’Brennan “How do you relate to the ongoing Orange Revolution in Ireland?”

5pm, Belfast, Northern Ireland

A suburb of Belfast. In a modest house of a grey colour, situated in a row of very similar buildings in a sleepy area, lives a man whom everyone knows in a positively light. An exemplary family man, a father of two daughters and an employee of the local bank branch, Thomas Lynch. If Thomas stands out amongst the other inhabitants, it’s only for his kind disposition and ineradicable desire to live happily and actively.

In Thomas’s pocket his mobile rang. A “Private number” Tom read on the screen and his face got a responsible look.

“Agent 0214?”

“I’m listening,” Tom answered.

“Check the email box 11 and follow the instructions exactly,” said a severe voice behind the “Private number” and with warmth in his voice he added “Your finest moment has come, agent 0214.”

6.30 evening the motorway between Belfast and Dublin

The flow of cars moved in a southerly direction, the usual steady flow of cars, which moves in the evening after a hard day. In the cars sat ordinary people, nothing extraordinary to distinguish them from the general mass. The participants in the throng of traffic didn’t know anything about each other, but a lot of them had a single destination, the parliament building of Ireland, “Leinster House.”

9.30 evening, Dublin Merrion St

Against massive black gates with security at the entrance leading to Leinster House, people began to gather. Under the light of the street lamps, they pitched a caravan camp, they partitioned off the street stopping the movement of rare cars. These people were not like farmers unhappy at low prices in supermarkets and they were also not like supporters of same sex marriage.

The unannounced demonstrators did not wait for the security guards to wait for an explanation, they went close towards the gates and it became clear that they were like brothers. On each one of their heads was a balaclava.

The posters of the demonstrators clarified all doubts: “IRA” “Ireland for the Irish!” “All hail Ireland” “No to the European Union! Yes to a free Ireland!”

“Sergeant of security Whelan here,” reported the security at the gates on the telephone.

“Tell me what is going on there, Sergeant Whelan.”

“Captain, people resembling radically minded members of the Irish Republican Army are standing at the gates. They are in an aggressive mood. I am worried that they will try to come inside.”

“Are they making any kind of demands?”

“They are shouting Ireland for the Irish.”

“That’s alright, that’s a utopian demand. I hope that this farce will disperse tomorrow on a show of strength. For now be alert!”

Second day

7am, Dublin, the street in front of the parliament building

In Merrion Square a stage was erected overnight. A hundred people in black surrounded it and waved fists to the sky and supported the orator.

“Ireland above all! We’ll make the country prosperous, we’ll make the country just and fair, we’ll make the country just and well so that people will want to live here and be proud of it!” declared a man in a black balaclava.

“All hail Ireland,” replied men in masks with slots for the eyes.

“Our task is to take our automatic weapons in our hands and like our ancestors, the Irish national freedom fighters of the past and strike the English and the Jews,” the preacher warmed the crowd from the stage.

“Hail Ireland!” answered the throng.

“We will not arse lick the European Union! Return the Irish pound! We will take power! Down with the fat cats! Divide their money out equally!”

“Hail Ireland!” exclaimed the participants of the demonstration excitedly, pressing their fists to their breasts.

“Everyone to the parliament! We will take the cabinet! Establish our own democracy!” continued the screaming man on the stage in an overstrained frenzy, but the crowd was already forcing back the cast iron gates.

“The special response unit of the “Rangers” urgently to the main entrance!” the head of security at the parliament shouted in a panic, carefully looking out of the curtains of the window of his office, with batons and shields! Level of danger is orange!

10am, Dublin, the street in front of the parliament building

The grumbling of ammunition, the strong force of the specially armed unit of the police lined the streets, with shields and helmets reflecting the black shadow of the raging crowds.

“Down with the Prime Minister! Down with the thieves! Hail Ireland!” roared the demonstration in a panic.

“Let us in, we are in the parliament, the Prime Minister has overstepped the mark, our time has come, we will set up our own democracy, the end has come for the dictatorship of the European Union, we will decide for ourselves what is good and what is bad. Out of the way!” pronounced the leader with an intimidating show of strength.

The Rangers, not answering the aggressive declaration, squeezed its ranks strongly, raised their shields warningly to the level of their chins. At that moment stones went flying from the fenced in defenders of Leinster House, sticks knocked against the helmets and shields under the approving, stressing roar behind them of “Hail Ireland!”

At that moment, the video and cameras sparkled their flash lights. It is not clear from where the journalists came to quickly pass on the hot news from the place of the latest action.

8am Washington headquarters of the CIA

“Nettle seeds are given as the first growth, Mister O’Brennan,” announced his personal secretary in a whisper.

“Don’t forget to strengthen the ideas that we agreed in practice from the Serbian conflict.”

“Our agents passed a particular kind of preparation in the special camps of the Taliban, sir.”

“That’s good, you know that revolution is an illness, therefore don’t forget to send the medicine in the denominations of our bank. Only don’t leave any traces!”

3pm Dublin, the street in front of the parliament building

Hailstones continued to fly down on the innocent defenders of the parliament. Two steps from the row of Rangers barricades sprang up. Strong guys in black masks stacked up hub caps in view of a big fence. On the path were boards, advertising placards and debris of bus stops.

At the end of the working day in Merrion Square, a new mass of people began to gather. Dexterous guys had their names recorded again in secret lists, gave away their balaclavas, their helmets of warlike shape and let out “You are standing on the corner of Nassau Street,” “You must go to Kildare St.”

6pm Dublin the street in front of the parliament building

Dublin of an evening did not hum, it crackled, as if someone had pressed dry macaroni with strong shoes, the heavy cobblestones were beating against the Rangers’ helmets. The loud darkness promised doomsday and it began.

A loud powerful cry wore through beside the sea of people filling up Merrion Sq: “Death to the European Union!” “Death to the European Union!” the most irrepressible of young people doused the flag of the European Union in petrol and lit it.

A new outburst of hysterics took over the crowd: “All hail Ireland!”, “For an independent Ireland.” Lads with a secretive kind of appearance tried to force their way through the barrier of police officers shouting “Let us into the parliament”, “Down with the Prime Minister”, but they ran up against an impregnable wall, and they gave the signal and aiming at the police, they threw a burning mixture.

The officers of the Rangers wing moved around on the ground, burnt flags, here and there the walls flashed with hub caps and all of the surrounds of Merrion Square blazed a solid fire of rubber wheels.

The fire engines driving up did not manage to quell the spreading flames. The flames covered the Irish National Archives and the National Gallery and the fire waded towards the National Library.

Third day

7am, Dublin the street in front of the parliament building

Such a black sky Dublin does not quite remember in its history. A pillar of soot spread out amongst the surrounds, lay on the pavements, the trees and even the grass became a grey colour. Merrion Sq was like the decoration for the film Stalingrad, where it was impossible to make out in a heap of ash where the trees grew and where there was a fence. The neat houses of eternal-red brick yawned with empty sockets of beaten-in windows with the collared-black soot of the fires.

The night time war subsided for a smoke break, but with first rays of sun the rows of maddened people in balaclavas flew on the neat rows of police and there began a genuine close-up fighting. With cries of “Freedom for Ireland” extremists threw the officers to the ground, pounded them with baseball bats, kicked them with their feet. The most terrifying of the bandits, to be more exact the more possessed and mad, threw petrol bombs at the police and converted them into running torches.

11am Dublin parliament

It was hot in the parliament. The flames from the barricades hadn’t quite reached here, but the members of parties were torn down like the hostile flames. Only Gerry Adams surrounded by his fellow party men stood by the walls and smiled up to his moustaches.

There were cries of “Vote down the Prime Minister!” “Hand him back to the people!”

The Taoiseach didn’t know what to say to the European Union and how to explain to the people what was going on, he didn’t understand anything himself.  The Taoiseach tore at his hair and in talking to his advisers and without the approval of parliament, gave the order to the Rangers to use batons for their own defence.

6pm Dublin

The evening Six O’Clock news bulletin on RTE One gave the exciting news from the cities: “Today the very existence of an independent Republic of Ireland was under threat. Fighters in black masks, calling themselves the “Liberators of Ireland,” are trying to implement an overthrow of the State, which can split the country. They are not thinking about the lives and destinies of four million peaceful citizens, who are not taking part in this orgy. The pain and suffering of Irish families does not worry them.”

On the television screens was shown columns of people clothed in black, their faces hidden by balaclavas. Organised columns marched down the streets of the towns in the direction of the city centres.

“In Limerick, representatives of an impromptu meeting of the opposition closed the road in the approaches to the administration, but also the police. After a little while, there appeared a throng at the walls of the administration and the security services held back the onslaught after which the extremists broke into the building” exclaimed the television announcer.

“Also today the administration building in Navan was seized. The participants of the mass action penetrated the seat of power in the county and privately, it became known about the blocking of the administration building in Monaghan and Cavan.” The news appalled peaceful citizens and nobody knew how to react to the goings-on.

10am that day in the White House in Washington.

Sitting in a comfortable chair President Obama turned on the news wire and with amazement noticed how the channel CNN broadcast in the United States and the rest of the world.

“A peaceful demonstration happening in Dublin is accelerating with forces of special military elements. The defenceless inhabitants of Dublin went to the parliament building with their citizen’s demands, but the Prime Minister illegally applied strength using the military special mode of defence. The whole world is in shock. The European Union has not seen such a thing!”

President Obama took out a can of Guinness from the fridge, opened it and saying cheers to his reflection in the mirror, said to himself “For peace in the whole world.”

Fourth day

7am, Dublin the street in front of the Parliament building

It is unclear from what reserves in Dublin were gathered hundreds of car roves. The wheels were placed along the central street and set on fire in order to frighten the police. The fight between them, those calling themselves “liberators” and the powers of the State, did not cease for one moment.

Bottles with Molotov cocktails were taken along in cars and were saved by terrifying people, suited-up in masks and flak jackets worn over civilian clothes. The fighters already did not hide their personal firearms. They didn’t hide, openly shooting at the police officers. The Rangers fell writhing from pain and cried from weakness, understanding that they couldn’t do anything in order to stop this lawlessness.

On the perimeters of Merrion Sq, loud grenades flashed and thundered and at that moment some of the extremists suddenly began to fall to the earth in a hail of bullets. Someone in particular definitely fired from a sniper’s rifle. Troops were lined along Mount Street and the American Television crews were circled around them, broadcasting to the whole world.

“Peaceful, defenseless demonstrators have become unhappy victims of this bloody lawlessness. How have the powers-that-be have allowed this, what is the Prime Minster doing? At the same time, experienced snipers shoot a relentless fire from secret concealed places, calculating in their heads, how many bills with green backs they will get for it.”

3pm that day the White House in Washington

Already later that evening, after a long and worried time, the American Ambassador in Ireland Daniel M Rooney rang the representative of the US Secretary of State, Victoria Nuland.

“Good evening, or to be more exact, good day, Victoria!”

“How can I help you Daniel?”

“What do you recommend that we do in this commotion, if you understand what I am talking about?”

“It is simple, Daniel. I think that you should keep closer contact with Sinn Fein. Gerry Adams is strong in economics in the administration, but there you should meet with the IRA less, better that he keeps them on a short lead. We are organizing a visit by Ban Ki Moon to Ireland. He will go, everything will go wisely, fuck the EU!”

“I will try to control the situation in the diplomatic sphere. I only worry that England will interfere.”

“Don’t worry, there is only their shadow and fingerprints in the European Union. That’s all, goodbye!”

Day Five

7am Dublin, the street in front of the parliament building

The morning was amazingly quiet. But this calm was deceptive. The terrible noise of the street fighters was not heard because at that moment all the officers of the Rangers wing were sitting on their knees on the ground. Extremists in balaclavas stood around spitting at the bent heads of the officers and howled at them:

“You are traitors to the homeland! You are to blame in the mass violence against peaceful citizens! You will be judged. Every one of you who goes over to our side will be spared. Those of you who are against us will be punished!”

The Rangers were forced to swear allegiance to a free Ireland. A few of the officers refused to take the oath and then at once, in front of everyone, dropped their eyes and their arms. The whole process was filmed by a video camera. Finishing the kangaroo court, the leader of the executioners Thomas Lynch said cynically “No ambulances! Quickly well bring the stretchers to the morgue.”

11am Dublin, parliament

The meeting hall in the parliament was bursting at the seams with people, no one prevented them from doing anything. The remaining deputies were kicked out with cries of “Hail a free Ireland! Now we are the parliament!” circling around them.

American senators Christopher Murphy and John McCain went together with the extremists to parliament and stood behind a tribune and told the demonstrators supporting the country.

“My friends, America is with you! We came to Dublin, to support the right of Ireland to change its fate by peaceful and democratic means! We will help you in your first steps, and now let us mark the victory!” exclaimed McCain with the tribune and the people in masks divided out the ministerial portfolios.

6pm Dublin

TV station “Euronews” told the news from Dublin in a 24-hour format:

“In the capital and suburbs, groups of people in masks, helmets, are armed with batons, shock and fire throwing weapons. These people represent the “IRA”, “Left Flank”, “Freedom” and “Self Defense Ireland”. Bandits are acting on their own discretion. But more to the point, they are verifying all suspicious people, in their eyes, and taking decisions from revolutionary expediency. There are decided incidents of arson, looting, robbery. Beyond the Government quarter, the places of activity of these groups are around Dublin airport and the general suburban highways.”

The journalists from the European channels reported with horror on their faces the revolt, the flight of the Prime Minister to an unknown destination and the ascent to power of the bandits.

At the same time the American news calmly and with an inspiration commented on the goings on in Ireland as “progressive change towards a stable Irish economy,” “democratic reform in the name of justice” and “freedom from the European yoke.”

CNN showed an interview with General Secretary of NATO Anders Fogh Rasmussen:

“On behalf of the United States, I assure people of the support of NATO for democratic reform in Ireland. It appears that democratic values are key going forward in Ireland and therefore NATO is observing the sovereign choice of Ireland. We will conduct discussions with our Irish partners within the framework of a NATO-Ireland commission. Ireland is a close partner of NATO and NATO is a sincere partner of Ireland.”

Sixth day

7am Dublin

The morning of the sixth day was uneasy for a lot of Irish politicians.

In the house of the Justice Minister Alan Shatter armed men in masks burst in. They demanded that he write an announcement of the resignation of the party and also for 300,000 euro. “We tried to free Ireland of the European plague, but you stole money,” they shouted, swinging their guns.

An aggressive, moody crowd gathered at the Mansion House building, the residence of the Mayor of Dublin and demanded the resignation of Oisin Quinn. The Mayor of the town refused to quit his post and when he went out onto the square to meet the people, the gathering demanded that he go on his knees. “The Mayor was not amenable. Then they simply threw him onto his knees, poking the asphalt with his face,” said the Irish News. Those assembled beat up the councillor. Then they chained him by handcuffs to the stage in the square and spilled water on him.

 In the morning Irish and world SMI reported about the disbandment of the special forces Rangers Wing. The Irish service of the BBC notified its audience that the self-styled Minister for Internal Affairs had signed a decree for the disbandment and declared it on the social media site Facebook.

12pm Paris, residence of the President of France

The President of France, Francois Hollande, was worried at the time of the loud sex scandal with his lover Julie Gay. With nervously shaking hands he took the telephone receiver and waited to talk to German Chancellor Angela Merkel.

“Angela, good day! Can you explain to me what is going on in Ireland?”

“Hello, Francois! Be calm, I think that the KGB supported the IRA in order to put a bomb under us.”

“The devil himself knows what is going on! The matter isn’t about the KGB with these bandits. The matter is about political double standards.”

“You think that I betrayed our mutual interests?”

“Angela, I am amazed that America calls all the goings on in Dublin “peaceful demonstrations” and “democratic conversions.”  Why does America need this? I have the impression that someone in particular has bought the American media and is saying lies to the world!”

“Stop, Francois! Calm. Don’t lose your head, and know that what we are saying now should not be heard on the other side of the ocean. They will always be two steps ahead.”

“Angela, talk with your friend Vladimir! We are on the verge of war, this chaos is spilling over to the mainland and is ending up to be the downfall of the European Union!”

“Don’t panic Francois, I should talk to my friend David. But I ask you, no more chat on the telephone, it is dangerous. It is better if you arrive yourself, good bye!”

Seventh day

9am Belfast

Around the capital building of the administration in Belfast gathered a thousand strong crowd. In their hands were placards with the words “Northern Ireland is for the European Union,” “The IRA have no part in Belfast,” “Sinn Fein to answer,” and “Enda Kenny, Northern Ireland, European Union.” A throng of people were as noisy as the Irish Sea during a strong wind and declared controversially “The European Union!” “Northern Ireland, arise!”

Columns of activists of a few social and political organisations went through the central streets of Belfast with Irish, British and European flags. A few people held a gigantic blue panel with a circle of golden stars. In answer to the slogans, signals of passing cars were heard and passers-by were met a column with approving yells.

11am Belfast, the parliament of Northern Ireland

First Minister of Northern Ireland Peter Robinson conferred with the deputies in the extraordinary morning meeting.

“Dear deputies! A black plague is spreading through our long suffering country. A black force is threatening the population of all Ireland. Dublin is burning, the parliament is in ruins. Shops, State institutions and schools are closed. Groups of armed people, calling themselves the “self-defence” are engaging in robberies in separate counties.”

The Minister for Defence Philip Hammond interrupted the Prime Minister without any regulations and asked for a word.

“Dear deputies! They have just called my assistant from the ministry and reported that in the Republic of Ireland, extremists have given the order for a total mobilization of their bandit force. According to the decision of the revolutionary committee the mobilization is occurring all over the country. It confirms that it’s sending a signal to all Irishmen to come to local centres not later than Sunday.”

Peter Robinson continued.

“Dear deputies, as you see for yourselves, the goings-on threaten the safety of the people of Northern Ireland and therefore I propose that we call the armed strength of Northern Ireland to full combat readiness and secure the airports and other strategic points.”

Parliament voted unanimously. There were no abstentions.

3pm Belfast international airport

All along the perimeter in view of all the people in the airport, on all entry and exit points to the airport stood soldiers of the British army. Red berets and shaved necks and automatic MP5 weapons forced respect and inspired certainty and security.

Well known from Afghanistan, the armoured tactical response cars “Husky” MXT 4×4 stood in the blockhouses of Belfast airport in strategic places. Top readiness meant that the drivers didn’t for a minute silence their engines so that they could respond with lightening speed.

Tourists and hangers-on went up to the soldiers to let them know of their support.

“Thank you, lads! Defend us, you are risking your lives,” an elderly person said to the soldiers in amazement.

“It’s our duty, Sir!” answered a brave soldier and showing his respect stood to attention.

10am of the same day, the White House, Washington

“NATO’s understanding is expansible,” said Barak Obama to himself “it is possible to stretch it as is convenient. NATO are my two hands, when I am eating ice cream with my right, it is possible to scratch the navel with my left. At the end of the day, whatever else we do not do, we look after the people. The people…. Their understanding is also flexible, you can stretch it in parts but in others it has to shrink like lightening. What is in the latest news?”

A young female journalist for CNN had a face full of panic. She kept turning backwards, expecting to be hit and was putting the audience’s attention to the soldiers in the surrounds of Belfast airport.

“The British army is invading the territory of Northern Ireland! Look, they are in camouflage and in their hands they have automatic MP5 weapons and flak jackets on their bodies! “Husky” war mobiles add to the terrifying painting of invasion in Ireland,” the journalist let out a cry, giving to understand that in another second, she would flee from the place, saving her soul in the process. “What is going on in Northern Ireland is the threat of the security of the peaceful population. This is an occupation! Shame on the United Kingdom! This is what the European Union is going on, hoping to ruin the young ones of a genuine democracy in Ireland!”

“What would we do without television. It is possible to win a war without Twitter and Facebook,” smiled Obama thinking to himself “telenews, that’s the real machine for brainwashing, but it is important to dust well with washing powder!

Day eight

9am, Paris the residence of the President of France

Without any appetite, sipping his cocoa and eating his croissant, Francois Hollande looked at the paper “Humanite”.

“The government of extremists in Ireland with the provisional Prime Minister Thomas Lynch at its head has announced the British occupation of the island!” read the headlines of the newspaper. “Irish terrorists have turned to the USA for help in freeing Northern Ireland of the British army. This threatens the national security of Ireland.”

Francois Hollande tossed the paper to the side and took up “Figaro”.

“An excessive and inadequate presence of the British troops on Irish soil, is a direct strike against the Irish,” declared at a meeting of the Government Provisional Prime Minister Thomas Lynch. ‘This has really undermined the reputation of Northern Ireland as one of the real places for tourist pilgrimage. If in the next few weeks England allows its troops to walk with its automatic weapons on the territory of Ireland, we will be forced to take extreme measures.”

“Thomas Lynch also noted that Dublin is doing everything possible so that Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland were a united country.”

“What is going on? We are losing control of the situation, Angelina!” forgetting about any kind of care about telephone conversations, the President of France shouted down the phone line.

“You obviously do not understand what is important, Francois! You have been wallowing in your romantic adventures and engaging in secretive walks around with Parisian harlots!”

“Angelina, I now see that it’s not about the KGB but about other forces, do I understand correctly?”

“Exactly, but don’t say that out loud! You are right, it’s not about the KGB. Also, it’s not about the IRA in Ireland, but other bandit elements entirely. The new Irish mafia.”

“Angelina, you should encourage London to withdraw its troops from Northern Ireland.”

“It would be good, but it is not possible! You see they are there for 300 years, this is permanent! The devil, this is silly news. Francois, turn on “Euronews!””

Francois Hollande clicked his remote from a distance.

“Secretary of State of the United States has made a harsh statement in an address to the British crown. Military intervention by England against Northern Ireland is a ‘grave mistake’, considers Secretary of State John Kerry,” said the journalist and Kerry himself appeared on the screen. “I don’t think that there can be any doubt that armed interference in any form, which is a breach of the sovereignty and territorial integrity of Ireland, will be a big terrible mistake,” said Kerry, appearing in front of the journalists in the State department.

“The devil knows what is going on! This is political double standards. The USA is playing in a fenced-in field. And these gates are the European Union. The truth does not exist! The devil!” Francois Hollande swore to himself.

“We are very concerned about the news of the deployment of troops in Northern Ireland. The United States has called on Britain to withdraw its troops, based in Ireland, to make this withdrawal, and to give the Irish people the chance to determine its own government, create its own future and to make this free, without intimidation or terror,” Samantha Power the UN ambassador said in a report.

4pm Parliament, Dublin

Thomas Lynch, with a self-confident and satisfied expression on his face looked around the meeting hall of parliament. He had no doubts about his authority and strength and how to get hold of dictatorial powers – he held at the same time the posts of head of the parliament and the President.

Looking at the hall, the new-born leader of the people attended to the deputies in black masks.

“Yesterday, I got news from the Central Bank of Ireland, that the state treasury has been looted and that the country is headed for bankruptcy. There is nothing to pay our debts with. We are not prepared to pay back our debts to the European Union! And we are not about to ask for help from the IMF!”

“Right! We fought for independence!” came supportive cries from the hall.

“Of course, it won’t be easy without international help, but independence from the Eurozone is the most important. I consider it necessary to provide for the free sale of weapons. Armed legally, the national patriots have become a real strength, which could dictate the terms of power in Northern Ireland, which in turn could result in a transfer under our control.”

9pm, parliament, Dublin

Thomas Lynch eased the strain of the day with a ‘Paddy’ whisky when his mobile rang.

“Agent 0214, this is General Secretary of NATO Anders Fogh Rassmussen”

“Very happy, I was waiting for your call.”

“What mood are you in agent 0214?”

“In a fighting mood, thank you! We are not about to give way but we want to go on until the end. We think that the actions of Britain in deciding to bring troops to Northern Ireland, threatens the peace and stability of Europe. You understand what I am alluding to?”

“We understand you perfectly agent 0214. Under these circumstances, if a danger arises in the world the United States cannot stand idly by. As we see it, the USA will simply be obliged to conduct a gigantic humanitarian military operation.”

“Can you seriously support us in this? How soon?”

“We propose that to avoid large scale casualties of civilians in Northern Ireland, the decision of the President about the problems will be enough without having to seek a mandate from the UN. Obviously, the military might of the USA will conduct the mission and if the need arises and they will do so on the command of the President.”

Day ten

10am, London, the residence of the Prime Minister of Great Britain

“What do you think about it, Tony, and what do we do now?” David Cameron was talking on the telephone with his old cabinet colleague, Tony Blair.

“Dear David, I don’t envy you. What I can say is that Northern Ireland belongs to the territory of her majesty the Queen of England. No kind of advice can change her high opinion, if at the moment she has one.”

“Excuse me, Tony, my secretary is trying to interrupt that on a parallel line I have the Pope. This is just what he needs from me, as if it is all our own fault. We basically don’t come into this, we find everything out at the last minute.”

“Mister Prime Minister?”

“Yes, your excellency, good morning.”

“Mister Prime Minister, it will be good if you take the decision not to allow to the bloodshed between the two parts of the one country. I intend, Mister Prime Minster, to convince everyone, they in whose hands power lies, not to allow the deaths of peaceful people in dear old Ireland.”

“Your excellency, I also watch the goings-on in Ireland with grief, pain and anxiety.”

“He, our dearest father, won’t allow brother going against brother, that the violence continued and that there was a desecration of sacred objects. There won’t be any more loss of life on Irish soil. We are saying a prayer for this.”

“How do we assist peace, your excellency?”

“Mister Prime Minister, we are obliged to guarantee the citizens of Northern Ireland the realization of their rights and freedoms. Power lies in their hands, and you do not have the right to allow violence and lawlessness. The Irish people themselves ought to determine their future without outside influence.”

“Well do everything we can, your excellency.”

“My son, the people of Ireland is united. North and south have always been brothers. This reality, living in our hearts, should define our future and it shouldn’t be sacrificed to immediate interests. Do the most important, pull out the British army from Northern Ireland, so that it doesn’t lie like a shadow on you like the violation of the Ten Commandments!”

10am of the same day in New York

It is not known who planned the action and it is not known who organized it, but on the inspiration of the people of New York there was a mass gathering with placards and banners. The procession of columns was in support of the freeing of the Irish fighters and against the European Union and it moved along Seventh and Eighth Avenue, along 34^th Street and finished on Times Square.

In the demonstration were teachers, civil servants, members of a dozen political parties who brought placards with patriotic inscriptions “Support Ireland” “England, get out of Ireland” and “The European Union – the destroyer of democracy!”

10am of the same day in the White House, Washington

“Chuck, how can we reshuffle our strategic interests in Gaza and Persian Gulf?” Barak Obama asked US Defence Secretary Hagel.

“According to your wishes, Mister President, we tightened our forces on the shores of Ireland just in time.”

“What do we arrange, Minister?”

“The destroyer “Makhan” is travelling along the northern shores. From the Atlantic, we are hiding the strength of the aircraft carrier “Harry Truman” escorting two rocket powered cruisers and two destroyers. On the shores of Scotland, there are aircraft carrier groups headed by the destroyer “Nimitz.”

“You are not over diligent, Chuck?”

“Mister President, the seriousness of our intentions should not be in doubt. The Queen should not be in doubt, is that not so, Mister President.”

“You understood me perfectly, Minister Hagel, we’ll ask the British to make space, someone should support the ‘peaceful protesters’ in defenceless Ireland. Who else but us? Give the order to land, Minister Hagel!”

Day ten

11am, the parliament in Dublin

“Well, brother Tom, we have a great plan, if you haven’t left us behind,” said the colleagues of the leader of the extremists to him.

“Well, lay it out, you really haven’t decided to rob a truck carrying money for an ATM? We are grown-ups, give us something more substantial!” Tom Lynch smiled happily.

“Here’s how it is, we are ready with humanitarian action, the Americans are already coming and will soon be in Leinster House. The support is coming by hook or by crook, Tom.”

“We shouldn’t steal from the Americans, cigarettes don’t shoot, behave well.”

“We won’t steal, we ourselves proposed to share the money, peacefully.”

“I adore blackmail, I really like those Hollywood films more than anything.”

“Tom, we propose that our American liberators take us into the states. We will be the 51^st state of America, Well, how does that sound?”

“The main thing is that there was no sarcasm, like a dog with five legs! Barak Hussein should understand us, he has Irish roots,” Tom Lynch smirked satisfiedly.

“What Barak Hussein?”

“The president of America.”

“Is he a relation of Sadam Hussein?”

“The same surname!” laughed Tom Lynch “like me and Judge Lynch, there is also a lot in common,” finished Tom with a loud guffaw.

10am the same day, the White House Washington

Behind an official screen with an image of the crest of the United States of America, against a background of a turned over flag of the country, stood the president who was addressing his people and citizens of the world.

“Mr. Speaker, Mr. Vice President, members of congress, dear colleagues!

In today’s world with complicated threats to our security, our leadership provides for all aspects, including powerful and principled diplomacy.

In today’s times, American diplomacy supports the Irish, which leads to difficulties, but to necessary talks for the end of the conflict with Great Britain, for the provision and the good and an independent, united Irish state.

The Irish people have experienced a strong, political, economic and cultural tie with the USA. Ireland is the equal to the USA, it supports and goes with us in everything. Exactly because of this we intend to ask the American people and members of Congress to support the announcement of the Irish people for the united Ireland to become the 51^st state of the USA.

I know it’s not easy to implement, but if we work together, if we use all our best qualities, we will truly stand on our own two feet and direct our glance to the future – then, I am certain we will be able to accomplish this. Believe in this.

Well, thank God, and the American people together with the candidature of the new state of Ireland.”

Alexander Kalashnikoff

Ten days in Ireland

 which shook the world

A contemporary Fantasy Tale

Translated into English by Ronan Tags: Literature